How to Erase a Soul

Answer: You can't. Here are some other, less emo, stories.

Purple Dog
The dog had been delivered to John's front porch on a platter with the words, "I am a dog for John/Jane to play with."

"That's not a dog," John asserted. "It looks more like a hairy purple bag."

The hairy purple bag burped. It had no eyes or handles, but its mouth was huge and, for the split second it was open, it seemed large enough to swallow the whole living room.

John blinked, and the purple dog said in his mind, I am a dog, and I have come here because I want you to be my master.

John blinked again, staring closely at the purple dog like he was possessed. Then John straightened.

"Never mind. You aren't trying to hurt me, so I won't try to hurt you."

Then John put on his nametag and went to school. The dog followed him, but no one really noticed. While there, John started to feel more female, until she decided to flip her nametag to "Jane". Jane took out a comb and began to brush her hair to look like a girl instead of a boy, and the person behind her snickered.

"What are you doing, gay boy?"

She turned and showed him her nametag. "I'm actually a girl right now." She knew it wasn't going to help, so she wanted to feel justified in hating this person.

"You're not a girl. You're just a -" Then he disappeared with a *whoosh* into the dog's mouth.

''Don't worry, master. I'll put him back later.''

Jane stared at the dog and asked, "What else can you do?"

I can fetch.

When school let out and the dog regurgitated the boy, Jane played fetch with it until she got tired. She looked at the dog and asked, "What else can you do?"

I can roll over, shake, fly-

"Can you fly with me on your back?"

Jane laughed as she zoomed through the air. The dog was easy to hold onto, and cupped itself around Jane so she wouldn't fall off. They flew for so long that Jane became male again, and then they went home and had soup.

"Dog," he asked, "why did you come to visit me, specifically?"

''I knew that you were a good person. Sometimes your life is bad, but today, I wanted to make your life less bad.''

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

''Maybe. It depends on what kind of day you're having.''

"Why did that platter say you were a dog?"

''I am not really a dog, but I want to be a dog. I want people to call me a dog and acknowledge that too. It makes me feel whole, like a weight has been lifted off of my back.''

John hugged the dog. "I'm sorry that I said you weren't a dog."

''It's okay. Though I'll be gone tomorrow, I'll come back when you need me.''

When Jane woke up the next morning, the dog was gone. But even when someone kicked her in the shin for no reason, or (Jane became male and) someone tried to convince him that he was a sin for no reason, he still knew that the dog would come back, and it kept him happy.